18 + A Baby & Still In School

When I became a mum. For some reason I had to have standards towards being the trophy mum, to some people, I was not allowed to have a fun life or any type of life that doesn’t involve you being a mother, some people I’ve come across ask me if I get bored being a Mum and “MISSING OUT” on the Freedom years of Young Adult Life. Miss out on partying and traveling and everything else a Young adult should experience. As you may or may not know I was a Teen Mum. But as soon as I laid eyes on my first born Melody-Rose, I quickly got over the fact that I would be missing out on things because it was a moment of pure happiness and inner-peace that I have never felt in my life.

Melody-Rose_ 4 hours old

My life actually changed for the better after having Melody-Rose, I started motivating myself more. I went back to school, as soon as I found out I was pregnant. I was at Teen Parent Unit inside of a local High-school. It changed my life! I had so much drive, I knew this was going to change my life for the better for me and my child. I was blessed as there were only 20 girls at a time allowed to be at this Teen Parent Unit. When I was pregnant, I wanted to go into the school but for safety reasons, couldn’t so I continued with classes in the unit or correspondence work for about 6 months, I gave birth to Melody-Rose during school holidays so I never missed out on school.

I became a Head Girl for the mums in 2015, I broke the barriers that our Teen Parent Unit had with the mainstream classes, see because in my mind if I can do it, so can all the other mums that were with me trying to better their future too. I began joining extra-curricular groups (Stage Challenge, Polyfest, Tough Guy & Gal challenge 6k mud run, 12k hiking & camp trip for P.E, School Production: Little Shop of Horrors, Dance troupe & more!) I joined so many groups and at one point I almost had a mental breakdown. One night we had our last Polyfest practice (if you’ve ever been in a poly group you I would know about that LAST practice before the DAY lmao) and I forgot my key to my house! One of the school deans dropped me off home (I had my own place at the time and was still in high school) so we get back to my house and I realize I left my key inside, I wanted to cry! We spent about an hour trying to break into my OWN house! How crazy right? So after that hour, my dean tells me she will call a locksmith to come to the house and change the locks & that she will pay for it!! I refused but she was telling me “we have to get up early tomorrow to go polyfest and perform and you have Bubba you NEED rest. Don’t worry about it!” At that point, I realized that I was so blessed and that everything was going to be okay! It gave me a wake-up call that people are watching me work hard and it’s NOT going unnoticed. Being 18 in mainstream school sitting inside classes alongside kids 2 years younger than me was the best opportunity I had been given. The kids didn’t even look at me differently and I was more than happy to keep on chasing the next big thing.

My influences changed and I adapted to different things. That I changed from a little party girl who was throwing her life away and blaming the world for all her problems into a girl finishing her NCEA levels and aiming for her UE.

That’s when I started to question myself about my life. What really are your goals? What do you want to achieve in life? Etc. It is the hardest decision trying to not only choose your own future but also the future for my child at the time. All I ever wanted was to make her and my mum proud of me. So going to back to my story lol…

I remember it was around the end of the year and I was thinking about what classes I was going to be taking the next year and I remember my head teacher sitting me down telling me that I have passed and that I can apply for uni. I had a huge flashback and thought “No, you can’t be serious?!” Later that day I was sitting in my room looking at all my assignments and books and just in total shock that I did it!! It may not have been a big deal to some people but for me it really was and I was so happy and grateful for my blessings and everyone who helped me along the way.

So my advice to Young mamas or even Teen mamas that have come along this blog- do whatever it take’s to get to where you wanna be. I imagined myself to not fail school. I imagined passing and achieving my goals & although I struggled and struggled hard, in the end, the rewards came to me more from within. Seeing my baby girl watch me grind and making her proud was my reward in the end! You’re going to face the biggest challenges of other people doubting you but the biggest battle you will far is doubting yourself, you will only fall to failure if you listen and believe other people’s statements and most importantly doubting yourself and what you could achieve

Never give up, chase that dream!

– The Blended Madre xx

In the making of The Blended Madre

The Blended Madre…

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You may not be that amazing person who has her shit together, and that’s okay baby girl keep trying and keep pushing for what you want and what makes you happy.  Not everything you think you see on social media will be true. Don’t dwell on the thought of who you should be and what your home should look like. You have your own individual life. It’s not supposed to look like anyone else’s life but your own. Grow your way, don’t let society kill your individuality.

Do not, and I mean DO NOT! Let the reality of social media get the best of you, wanting more materialistic things. The smiles on your kids mean more than going broke trying to dress them kids in Designer brands. Whether you get them that jacket from warehouse for $25 or the jacket from Cotton on for $69. They are still going to be happy with it as long as they see that it is new. When you have the money to splurge then splurge! For now, you don’t have anything to prove to anyone but yourself!

DO Treat yourself now and then, little things… Remember you said last week and the week before you were going to do your brows? Do it. It’ll make you happy and feel confident. Whatever you want you are in control! I know you get that guilt that you could be spending money on your kids, but always take care of yourself first. Because you are the soul of the house. Do those little things that make you happy, I know you like to read ‘food for thought books’ put the kids down maybe 30 mins earlier so you can do that! Or buy that chocolate for yourself (it’s not selfish)

You want success, I know you do! So keep making videos for YouTube and writing blogs! Do NOT worry about everyone else talking about what they think you’re “trying” to do. When that is actually something you’ve loved doing since you’ve had Melody-Rose! So many newspapers and companies that wanted interviews and wanted to know about you that it inspired you to speak which is why you started your blog! To let others know that if you can do it. They can too!

Look at you! You are doing okay! Don’t think because you don’t have the money or that car or not famous meaning you are not succeeding in life. Every time the kids laugh and smile that is a part of your success as a parent or every time they ask you questions and communicate it is a part of the success of them knowing that they can speak to you or even want to speak to you. THEY ARE INTERESTED to know what are your thoughts. Or even the success of you finishing your washing that little feeling of success! YES GF you have success every day. Congratulations on your achievement, be proud of yourself.

Appreciation and affirmations you write in your diary next to your lot of things-to-do in your diary will go a long way, you are reminding yourself of the many blessings you do have. I know its easy to quickly think about what you want and turning that thought process into a negative thought of what you don’t have or what you should have. Reminders are amazing especially when you remind yourself of what you appreciate in your life. Keep doing this because it is helping you realize the gift of life and all your blessings.

You got this!