When I became a mum. For some reason I had to have standards towards being the trophy mum, to some people, I was not allowed to have a fun life or any type of life that doesn’t involve you being a mother, some people I’ve come across ask me if I get bored being a Mum and “MISSING OUT” on the Freedom years of Young Adult Life. Miss out on partying and traveling and everything else a Young adult should experience. As you may or may not know I was a Teen Mum. But as soon as I laid eyes on my first born Melody-Rose, I quickly got over the fact that I would be missing out on things because it was a moment of pure happiness and inner-peace that I have never felt in my life.
My life actually changed for the better after having Melody-Rose, I started motivating myself more. I went back to school, as soon as I found out I was pregnant. I was at Teen Parent Unit inside of a local High-school. It changed my life! I had so much drive, I knew this was going to change my life for the better for me and my child. I was blessed as there were only 20 girls at a time allowed to be at this Teen Parent Unit. When I was pregnant, I wanted to go into the school but for safety reasons, couldn’t so I continued with classes in the unit or correspondence work for about 6 months, I gave birth to Melody-Rose during school holidays so I never missed out on school.
I became a Head Girl for the mums in 2015, I broke the barriers that our Teen Parent Unit had with the mainstream classes, see because in my mind if I can do it, so can all the other mums that were with me trying to better their future too. I began joining extra-curricular groups (Stage Challenge, Polyfest, Tough Guy & Gal challenge 6k mud run, 12k hiking & camp trip for P.E, School Production: Little Shop of Horrors, Dance troupe & more!) I joined so many groups and at one point I almost had a mental breakdown. One night we had our last Polyfest practice (if you’ve ever been in a poly group you I would know about that LAST practice before the DAY lmao) and I forgot my key to my house! One of the school deans dropped me off home (I had my own place at the time and was still in high school) so we get back to my house and I realize I left my key inside, I wanted to cry! We spent about an hour trying to break into my OWN house! How crazy right? So after that hour, my dean tells me she will call a locksmith to come to the house and change the locks & that she will pay for it!! I refused but she was telling me “we have to get up early tomorrow to go polyfest and perform and you have Bubba you NEED rest. Don’t worry about it!” At that point, I realized that I was so blessed and that everything was going to be okay! It gave me a wake-up call that people are watching me work hard and it’s NOT going unnoticed. Being 18 in mainstream school sitting inside classes alongside kids 2 years younger than me was the best opportunity I had been given. The kids didn’t even look at me differently and I was more than happy to keep on chasing the next big thing.
My influences changed and I adapted to different things. That I changed from a little party girl who was throwing her life away and blaming the world for all her problems into a girl finishing her NCEA levels and aiming for her UE.
That’s when I started to question myself about my life. What really are your goals? What do you want to achieve in life? Etc. It is the hardest decision trying to not only choose your own future but also the future for my child at the time. All I ever wanted was to make her and my mum proud of me. So going to back to my story lol…
I remember it was around the end of the year and I was thinking about what classes I was going to be taking the next year and I remember my head teacher sitting me down telling me that I have passed and that I can apply for uni. I had a huge flashback and thought “No, you can’t be serious?!” Later that day I was sitting in my room looking at all my assignments and books and just in total shock that I did it!! It may not have been a big deal to some people but for me it really was and I was so happy and grateful for my blessings and everyone who helped me along the way.
So my advice to Young mamas or even Teen mamas that have come along this blog- do whatever it take’s to get to where you wanna be. I imagined myself to not fail school. I imagined passing and achieving my goals & although I struggled and struggled hard, in the end, the rewards came to me more from within. Seeing my baby girl watch me grind and making her proud was my reward in the end! You’re going to face the biggest challenges of other people doubting you but the biggest battle you will far is doubting yourself, you will only fall to failure if you listen and believe other people’s statements and most importantly doubting yourself and what you could achieve
Never give up, chase that dream!
– The Blended Madre xx